Before I start my story, I need to get straight
to the point. The purpose of this blog is to help those suffering from
depression and anxiety. It is a REAL thing, and it needs to be talked
about because the more it's pushed under the rug, the harder it is to accept.
And acceptance is a major step in the healing process. I am not psychiatrist;
I don't have a PhD in psychology. I haven't written any books, or spent
thousands of hours researching. However, I can talk about and relate to
depression in a way that some professionals could never have even dreamed of...
because I have been there. Along my journey I have met many people who have
gone through similar experiences. I have
also realized that people I have known for a long time have gone through the
heartache and misery that I felt… But everyone is too afraid to talk about
it. Depression is more common than
people think and if we could just talk about it more, people would realize that
they don’t have to walk the dark path alone.
They might realize that there are many others with experiences, advice,
and comfort that can offer a glimmer of hope.
I know what it's like to feel like there is no
hope left in life, to feel like every ounce of light has been sucked out of
you, to feel in total despair and having no idea why. I know what it's like to
think that such agonizing feelings will never end, and just the thought of the
slightest relief seems impossible without just giving up on life all together.
I also know what it is like to overcome the darkness and see the sun again
with all of its glory. I know because I didn't give up, and neither
should you. I know it is possible to triumph over depression. I
know because I did. It wasn't easy, but it happened. Hopefully by
reading and following this blog, you can learn that it can happen to you too!
This blog consists of 7 different parts. The first part is the story of my journey
with depression and anxiety. I want to give a warning. I have not sugar coated my story. You may read things that seem extremely
bothersome. I’m not doing this for
dramatic effect. I’m doing it because I
remember when I was in the midst of my depression and feeling these awful
things, I thought that I was the only one.
My distorted thoughts led me to believe that these dark feelings were ones
that I and I alone had ever felt and that they made me a horrible person. But then I read a book (which I will refer to
later). In this book I read stories of women who were strong, wonderful women.
Their stories were so similar to mine.
This taught me that I wasn’t alone.
It taught me that the thoughts that I was having were nothing to be
ashamed of because they were part of the illness of depression. By telling it
almost exactly like it was, I am hoping that others might recognize some things
in themselves and realize that they are NOT horrible people. That those dark thoughts and feelings are
part of the nature of depression. Some
people reading may think “Wow, I have depression, but it certainly isn’t THAT
bad.” To you I say, count your blessings and do all that you can to take care
of yourself and get the help needed to prevent these things from getting any
worse. Some other readers may have experienced things far worse than what I
went through. To you I say, I look up to and admire you in ways I can’t even
describe. I hope you have found hope and
help. If not, I encourage you to seek
getting this help, and hopefully my blog can be one of those sources of hope.
The second part of the blog is more clinical,
with lists of symptoms or Doctors points of view. This is the smallest section because it is
not the main point that I want to focus on.
During my darkest times I hated being seen as “a mental illness
patient.” I didn’t want my depression to become who I was. However, at the same time, even though
depression wasn’t me, it was a PART of me, and I couldn’t deny it. My depression actually helped shape some of my
biggest strengths today. Putting a medical name on my feelings made me realize
that it was a real thing and not just something that my mind was making
up. I knew that illnesses could be
treated and this offered a glimmer of hope.
The third part of the blog is a collection of
quotes and sayings that I have gathered during and since the biggest part of my
battle. They are beautifully written
passages of wisdom and strength that offered me so much peace during turmoltous
times.
The fourth part of the blog consists of songs
that helped me through my struggles and shed light on my darkest days. Some are
spiritual songs others are actually pop culture songs. But all relate to being
healed and finding hope. Music can speak
to me in a way that words never could.
The fifth part of the blog is a list
of resources that you may find helpful in your own journey with
depression. Some of these may work great
for you, and some may not. It is up to
you to decide which ones you would like to try to seek the relief you are so
desperately looking for. For me, it took
several attempts with many different resources before I found the combination
of things that worked best. Everyone
handles depression differently. Please feel free to share what you have found
that works for you!
The sixth part of the blog consists of other thoughts that I want to share that are more unique and can't quite fit into the other categories. My mind is a constant stream of thoughts. Some are strange, others are funny, many are spiritual, and I try to have all of them be uplifting.
The final part of my blog is specifically for the caregivers of those dealing with depression or anxiety. Let's be honest, it is not just the person dealing with the mental illnesses that is suffering... In this section I will speak from the point of view as the patient and discuss things that others did that helped me personally. I will also reference my parents a lot to give you their point of view. My hope is that I can help caregivers help the ones they love.
The sixth part of the blog consists of other thoughts that I want to share that are more unique and can't quite fit into the other categories. My mind is a constant stream of thoughts. Some are strange, others are funny, many are spiritual, and I try to have all of them be uplifting.
The final part of my blog is specifically for the caregivers of those dealing with depression or anxiety. Let's be honest, it is not just the person dealing with the mental illnesses that is suffering... In this section I will speak from the point of view as the patient and discuss things that others did that helped me personally. I will also reference my parents a lot to give you their point of view. My hope is that I can help caregivers help the ones they love.
The last part of the verse from Psalms says “But
Joy cometh in the morning.” I am a living witness that no matter if your night
is one night, 160 nights, or years and years of nights, joy DOES come in the
morning. My deepest prayer is that this
blog, will help lead you to getting any help or comfort that you may need so
that you too can wake up from the long night of weeping to find a very joyous
morning.
**Please feel free to leave comments! However, I
also would ask that you be considerate of people’s feelings. Those suffering
from depression are at times extremely sensitive, even more than they normally
would be. Everyone is entitled to their own
opinion but please remember that both depression and anxiety are real things
that many people struggle with. So leave all of the comments you desire but kindly
be sensitive to any other potential readers as well as myself. Thank you!**
